No homework. Bored. Don’t read these. This weekend went by way too fast. Spontaneous plans on Saturday with the boy was definitely one of the best days. My walls fell down so quickly and I’m scared shitless but I’m not going to let fear take over anymore. Can’t wait to do all these “one day…” with you. He does this thing where he rambles on and on about something, I think it’s really cute. I hate how my business is so out there. I do nothing wrong and still get judged for it. I don’t know why you’re questioning my faith. I don’t question it, why are you?! I like how you practically made a decision for me like it’s no big deal. Easy for you to say, it’s not your future that’s at stake. Same shit as last year. Around the same time, too. How ironic. But whatever. I hope all goes well with this new place. But I was hoping to get a car first. I hate making these decisions on my own sometimes. Yeah, I’m still wishing for mom’s advice. I feel like I’ve been forced to grow up so fast. Life’s moving so fast. I need it to slow down just a little. But then again, I keep saying it needs to be May already. I’m exhausted but I’m not allowed to complain. Everyone keeps telling me what to do but no one wants to help me do it. None of my family is willing to step up and offer me help. I feel what small hope I have left slowly fading. I keep doing those silent screams in my head. I wish you’d help me. I need to get my eyes checked so bad! I just want to put headphones on and get lost in drawing random stuff. I feel the nyquil kicking in. I should sleep.