1112pm:

You smile at her pettiness, you thrive on her sadness. You linger when she is weary and you leave when she begs. All in the while, you have her on your sick string of mere artificial affection because you are at that age where boys do not learn, because you are at that age where boys do not hurt. You whisper pretty words in clandestine, you scream the ugly ones out loud. You want her for physicality, you lie about the color of her eyes and you have the nerve to lure another girl while she is left to cry. You shudder at the names you’ve been called and blame her for your own lies. But you are so filled with guilt that it shows. You are so filled with sorrow that your defense is to keep saying, ‘no’. You are so filled with ugliness that you probably hate it, too but you’re filled with too much bullshit for you to think it through.